During my entire horse life, I have been a huge advocate for as close to 24/7 turnout as possible and free-choice forage for all horses, so the weight of my own not being able to have these things often weighs heavily on me. I try to do everything I can to help Harriet have as optimal of a life as possible, given her restrictions and those of our environment.

There are several factors involved in this issue for Harriet, but the following are the most prevalent:

Factor 1: We are still worried about her fracture site being unstable, and given the way that she rebroke it in November (just by running around on uneven footing), I am working very cautiously on reintroducing her to areas without stable, groomed footing. Our boarding stable has two giant, beautiful grass pastures, but as with most pastures, the ground is pretty compact and uneven, so I worry about her having a repeat re-fracture episode.

Factor 2: I have tried so, so hard to find friends for Harriet over the last year, to the point that I know some of the boarders at my last barn were concerned that I kept trying to pair her up even after a couple injury incidents. It's such a difficult battle to fight, because on one hand, horses need companionship; they are a herd animal, and Harriet is such a social horse. But on the other hand, if your horse continues to be injured by other horses, isn't it your duty as their caretaker to remove them from those situations?

I joke that Harriet has "lost her friend privileges forever" since the accident, but in my heart I know it's so hard for her to be alone. How do you choose between having a safe but lonely horse, or not learning from your mistakes by putting her at risk to save her mental health?

Factor 3: The geographical area we live in is pretty restricted when it comes to turnout options. My current barn, which I love, has easily some of the best turnout environments in the area; that being said, nowhere can be truly perfect for everyone. I would love nothing more than to upgrade H from her small individual dry lot to the giant, grassy pastures, but that would require her to be turned out with several other horses, in a large, open area, on uneven ground. Plenty for me to be anxious about. I don't want to project my anxieties onto Harriet, but I also do not want to again be the one who put her in a situation where she had the chance to be unsafe. So for now at least, she is turned out in her small dry lot, and due to the needs of many other horses in the barn to have individual turnout as well, she only goes out for half the day.

Because of these restrictions, I try very hard to still help Harriet have good environments in small or controlled doses.

• I ride mostly in the late afternoon, when all the horses have been brought in for the day and the turnouts are empty. With the property owner's permission, after riding, I untack Harriet and turn her out in one of the bigger paddocks for about half an hour while I clean up so she can stretch her legs while she cools down. I'm cautiously trying to move towards letting her out in one of the big fields by taking her for hand walks through it, but due to Factor #1 mentioned above, I am still hesitant to allow her to be loose in it.

• I try to hand graze Harriet as much as possible to make up for the fact that we don't have free choice hay available, and have a slow-feeding net to help prolong her consumption times.

• Harriet currently lives in an enclosed box stall, without contact with her neighbors. During my time at the barn, I open the feed door in Harriet's stall to allow her to look out into the aisle and socialize with the other horses in the barn. After living for a year in a barn with stall door yokes where she could have her head in the aisle constantly, she definitely seems to enjoy this.

I also try to stay as vigilant as possible to the physical aspects of Harriet's health; Prehab Over Rehab, as many practitioners may tell you. Harriet and I go through some more active stretches before every ride, with lots of static stretches after riding when her muscles are warm. As a horse whose default gait is Speed Trotting, and given our slow and steady conditioning plan, I put a great deal of importance into her cooldown after riding, making sure she never goes back into her stall while breathing heavily or when still hot. All of this together means a half-hour ride usually finds me at the barn for over two hours. And this is fine! I only wish I could do more for my little NightMare.

Even after all our Prehab, two weeks ago I found myself pulling Harriet up after only two minutes of riding because I could not get her to trot. Of course, Mrs. Speed-Trotting-Always refusing to trot was a huge red flag, and her obvious soreness was still present after a week's rest. Following a thorough exam, my vet found her SI joints to be the source of her pain, and injected them. She'll be on some muscle relaxers while she recovers, but then hopefully will be good as new.

While I'm grateful that we could quickly diagnose and treat her pain, I experienced some heavy horse-mom-guilt in wondering if there was any way I could have prevented her soreness and the need for injections as a young, green horse of only 7 years old. While I may not have an answer to this questioning, I can continue to do everything I can—whether it be Prehab or after the fact—to keep my girl as comfortable, happy, and healthy as possible… and doing what I can is okay. I can stay in my comfort zone and still be a good horse mom. I can allow Harriet some risks in the name of mental health and still be a good horse mom. I am acting as her voice, and in the end, all that matters is that I do what I believe is best for her.